...if you're the kind of person who is likely to find yourself needing a hammer to open a bottle of wine, should you really be buying expensive wine? Steve Levitt offers evidence that could help us answer a better question: should you be drinking expensive wine at all?

Nonetheless, I find the idea inspiring. I'm the last person you would want to ask about wine, but instead of all the convoluted advice that you would get from an outlet like Wine Spectator or Bon Apetit, I propose the following parsimonious formula for willingness-to-pay for wine. The formula relies on proxy variables that should be highly correlated with individual type:

Willingness to Pay = f(time it takes to find your hammer, time it takes to find your corkscrew)

WTP is an increasing function of the amount of time it takes you to find your hammer and a decreasing function of the amount of time it takes you to find your corkscrew. If you could find your corkscrew blindfolded but aren't sure where to find a hammer (or aren't sure you even own one), you're probably a good candidate for expensive wine. If you know exactly where your hammer is but aren't sure where your corkscrew is (or if you even own one), you're probably better off saving your money. In either case, according to the research cited by Levitt, most of us who don't have extensive training probably can't distinguish between high- and low-quality wine.

If you're me, the formula breaks down because while I know where to find our hammers and while I think I know where our corkscrew is, I'm more or less incompetent with both. Therefore, I stick with coffee.